It’s always easy to dismiss relationship and sex guides as remedial - unnecessary for anyone who already considers themselves an adventurous libertine. The reality is that developing relationship skills is lifetime work, our sexual needs and practices change over time, and each new relationship has its own unique lessons.
Valerie Alexander, on Partners in Passion
What we view onscreen affects many aspects of our sexuality, such as what we can reasonably expect from our partners, how we understand and learn about our own sexuality, and what we perceive as “normal,” healthy, consensual sex. Perhaps no one takes this responsibility as seriously as queer and feminist pornographers. Their work may not yet be considered culturally acceptable, but perhaps one day, it — and the various expressions of their sexuality — will be.
East Bay Express on Bay Area feminist porn
The bottom line is, figuring out what we want out of sex (and when) is one thing, but sharing that information is another skill set that we each have to navigate. Maybe you really do have a headache once in a while, but for the other times, learning how to be upfront about your reasons and how your libido works can mean a more satisfying experience when you do say yes.
Rachel Kramer Bussel, from “I just don’t want to have sex with you!